Weirdo on Korean Subway- Storytime

In a country full of subways and buses that reach every corner of the land, you will- no question- encounter some weird people.

So this is the story of how I was pet on the subway. Yes, someone literally pet me like a dog.

I was so hesitant to tell this story publicly...

I'm regretting this already.

It was a nice Sunday afternoon, on my way home after spending the weekend in Busan (you can read about that trip here). The subway was full, but there were enough seats for most of the commuters. Sunday hiker groups and well-dressed people on their way home from church, as well as a few students and their huge backpacks filled the seats. Yet, as I boarded the subway, I, and one other unfortunate person, somehow became lucky enough to sit on either side of this old, sleepy (and possibly hungover) man on the subway.

You can probably already tell where this is headed.

So I boarded, and found the very last seat of the row closest to me open, so I sat down. Now enter, a 20-something year old male specimen, who sits on the other side of the sleeping older man between us.

For a good five minutes, it was a normal ride. All good. But then, out of nowhere, I hear a groan next to me. I ignore this, as most people would, and figured that the man sitting next to me was waking up from his nap. Again, quiet for a minute or so. And suddenly, another groan. But this time, it was followed by a quick snort-like snore. I held back a laugh. A middle-aged couple dressed in hiking gear, sitting across from me, glanced over and we exchanged humorous smiles. Little did I know that in a matter of minutes, I would not be laughing at the situation.

Now, I already know that I'm going to get questions and backlash for not paying more attention to the groaning dude next to me. However, if you're also a big-city-person, you probably understand why I ignored him (you just have to ignore most strange people, as giving them attention might make things worse).

So I ignored the guy.

I then heard another groan, but louder this time. It almost sounded pained. If I ever hear a drowning walrus, I'm almost positive it will sound like that noise the guy made. Next thing I know, the man elbows me as he begins to lean against the guy on the other side. Think Leaning Tower of Pisa here- he's somewhat suspended in midair as the guy begins to lean away from him. Finally, he falls over onto his lap. I watch as the guy jumps out of his skin, then shoves the man off his lap. He bolted upright, eyelids parting a bit to reveal bloodshot eyeballs for a split second before nodding off again.

Before I could move away or react, though, I suddenly felt a hand on my head. Umm... What?

Confused, and frankly, a little scared, I slowly turned my head. The guy sitting on the other side of the man and I exchanged a look as we realized that we were both being handled by a stranger. The man sitting next to me was definitely asleep- his eyes were closed and only one side of his mouth was open. Yet he had somehow reached out his hands to place them on each of our heads. Then, as he groaned, he began petting. Literally petting.

When I say petting, I kid you not, he was full-on petting. The way you would pet little Fido or Princess Kitty. He literally, in synced movements, began petting our heads. Of course, my hair was longer that the other guy, and the man ended up petting the guy's back for part of the time, since his hair was short. We sat there for what seemed to be eternity (translation: thirty seconds), assessing the situation, getting over the shock, and deciding what to do. Frozen, I couldn't seem to move my limbs. Finally, just as I was about to reach over and move his hand, a girl who looks to be about my age or a little older, who had been standing next to the seats, grabs the arm on my head and throws it into the owner's lap. I start to get up when the man lets out a shriek- he threw his head back and screamed so loud that I was convinced people in the next car would be able to hear us.' At this point, everyone had fallen silent. Even people who had earbuds in, ripped their headphones out and were leaning out of their seats to see what was going on.

I look around and notice that the couple who had been sitting across from me is gesturing to me. I tilt my head, confused. The lady gets up and gestures again to her seat. I get it; she wants me to get the heck out of this seat. I bolt up and scramble away to the lady, but convince her to sit back down (I didn't want to steal her seat!). I hold onto one of the hanging handles and turn to watch as the guy who had been sitting on the other side finally gets up, pushing the man off his shoulder (again), and walks toward the doors. The man, who had apparently been depending too much on the guy's shoulder, falls to his side before sliding onto the ground with a loud thud. He lets out another snort-snore, but doesn't wake up.

A flurry of whispers spread through the car, and a few people let out nervous giggles. I just shook my head and laughed. I decided to just laugh at this incident. Was I startled? Heck yes. But did I feel endangered at any point? No. So I decided to pass the whole experience off as a funny way to end the Busan trip.

So that is the story of how I was pet like a dog on a Korean subway. Pretty crazy.

But on the bright side, at least I got a funny story out of it. I hope the guy ended up waking up with his mouth on the side of his head (an old Korean expression says that sleeping on the ground will make your mouth turn, haha!).

Maybe that'll help him learn his lesson.

Soo Hyun

#writing #storytime